theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
where does the pee come out of this thing
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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