i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
