Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
