I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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