She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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