I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It's blow job season.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
