I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
