i think my mom watched the whole time
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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