Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
