Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
