bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
