do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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