Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
