But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
