she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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