You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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