Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
