Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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