I want to stick my p in your. b.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
