it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
