He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
