she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
