let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize
