So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
