I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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