In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
