chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just found puke in my bra..
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
