You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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