wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
