i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
