Can i not drive my cunt home
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
