No awkward lesbian experiences without me
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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