There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
