Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
