her vagine was all disorganized.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
