You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
