i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
