I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
