Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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