I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
