if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
