I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
