i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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