another moral hangover. fuck.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
