I smell stomach acid.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
