found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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