I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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