You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
