i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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