please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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