somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
